I Think My Spouse Is Spying on Me. What Should I Do?

Last Updated on March 9, 2023 by Carlos Lopez

You may trust your spouse, but what happens if your spouse doesn’t trust you? 

Thanks to modern technology, it’s easier than ever for people to spy on one another, and it’s more difficult to detect when someone has been able to access your devices and information. 

Having a spouse spy on you, whether it’s digitally or by physically following you around and snooping in your things, can feel incredibly violating.

Why Do Spouses Spy?

One of the most common reasons one spouse spies on another is because they believe the other person is being unfaithful. 

The spying spouse wants to find out anything they can about who their partner has been talking to, and this kind of spying can include:

• Looking at phone records
• Checking text and social media messages
• Logging into email and social media accounts
• Asking friends and family about their whereabouts
• Following them to work, social events, etc.

However, suspecting an affair is not the only reason one spouse may spy on another.

Some other potential reasons a spouse may spy include:

• Suspected alcoholism or drug use
• Finding out how the other person is spending their money
• Seeing how the other partner spends their time
• See who they’re talking to and associating with
• They have something to hide themselves, such as an affair, and want to see if their spouse is suspicious
• They are controlling or abusive and snooping makes them feel powerful
• To get evidence to use against the other person in court in cases of divorce

How Can I Protect Myself?

If you suspect your spouse is spying on you, you need to take quick action to protect yourself. This protection can take many forms, including securing your online accounts and personal devices, as well as physically protecting yourself.

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Here are some things you can do to protect yourself if you think your spouse is spying on you:

Change Passwords

Many people use the same, or similar, passwords for all of their online accounts. In a lot of cases, they share these passwords with their spouse, making it very easy for snooping to occur.

If you believe your spouse is spying on you using your email, social media, or any separate financial accounts, change the passwords to these accounts immediately. Make sure they are something that your spouse would not guess, and strings of numbers, letters, and symbols are the most secure.

Don’t forget to change the passwords and passcodes to your computer and any other devices, as well, just in case your spouse knows these.

When you do change passwords, don’t save them to your computer or device to reduce the risk that your spouse will find them again. Also, do not write them down anywhere that your spouse may be able to access. 

Factory Reset

If you think your spouse may have installed spyware on your phone, tablet, or computer, you may have to do a full factory reset or reload to get rid of that software.

Before you do this, make sure you backup your photos, contacts, and other important documents before you reset the phone. 

It may be worthwhile to get a professional’s help in resetting or reloading your device so you can be sure that you don’t delete anything necessary but you still get rid of any spyware you may have.

Check Your Belongings

Your spouse may, if they are very determined to find out where you’re going, find ways to sneak GPS trackers onto your belongings. Things like your car, inside your work or gym bag, or on other things you take with you frequently but may not notice a change to.

If you truly believe your spouse is using something to physically track your whereabouts, carefully check your vehicle and anything you normally take with you when you leave the house.

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You may want to take your car to a mechanic to have them check it over to see if they can find a GPS tracking device anywhere in your car. While you may not be able to see anything wrong, someone who knows cars well may be able to see when something’s out of place.

Take a Buddy

If you’re worried that your spouse is following you or having you followed, remember that there’s safety in numbers.

Having someone else who can keep an eye on your surroundings when you’re out shopping, at restaurants, or other places you think your spouse may be trying to track you can help you stay vigilant and identify when and if you are being followed.

Get Help

You can only do so much alone. Bringing in a counselor, attorney, or even law enforcement to help you if you believe you’re being spied on can make a difference.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help from someone you trust. 

Divorce Attorney in Washington, D.C.

Divorce can be complicated. At Lopez Law Firm, we do our best to help you understand the process every step of the way. Whether you need a little help from an attorney or a lot, we’ve got your back. Call today for a consultation!